What Not to Say to a Parent of a Child with Special Needs

Being a special needs parent can be one of the most rewarding yet challenging experiences.
Every day is filled with unique joys and struggles, and it's important to approach families with kindness, understanding, and respect. Unfortunately, there are certain comments that, while often well-intentioned, can come across as insensitive or hurtful. In this blog, we will let you know what not to say to a parent of a child with special needs.

1. "I don't know how you do it"

This comment may sound supportive, but it can unintentionally make a parent feel like theirlife is something to be pitied. Parenting a child with special needs can be tough, but it's also filled with moments of joy, love, and pride.

     2. "I'm sure they'll grow out of it"

This comment can be dismissive of the challenges that a special needs parent faces. Whilesome children may develop in ways that surprise doctors or therapists, many children with special needs will face challenges for their entire lives. It’s important to acknowledge and espect their journey.

    3. " Have you tried...?"

Offering unsolicited advice about treatments or therapies, especially when you don't have firsthand experience, can feel overwhelming. Parents of children with special needs often work with a whole team of professionals and have tried many different options already.

    4. " It could be worse."

Comparing a special needs parent's situation to something worse can minimise the difficulty of their journey. Each experience is unique, and each parent is doing their best in their own circumstances.

    5. "Why don't they just..."

Asking why a child with special needs doesn’t act or behave in a certain way can be hurtful. The child may be unable to meet certain expectations due to their condition, and these kinds of questions can feel like judgment.

   6. "At least they don't have..."

While you might think you’re offering comfort by suggesting it could be worse, this is another form of comparison that minimises a special needs parent's experience. Every child’s condition is unique, and the challenges a parent faces are valid, no matter what.

   7. "Isn't there a cure for that?"

While there may be therapies or interventions that help improve certain conditions, many disabilities are lifelong. Asking about a cure can unintentionally suggest that the child is broken or in need of fixing.

So what is actually helpful?

If you know a special needs parent, you can make a world of difference by offering genuine support. Whether it’s listening, offering a helping hand, or simply acknowledging their experiences, showing kindness can go a long way. Sometimes the best thing you can say is, “I’m here for you.” If you’re unsure what to say, it’s always okay to ask the parent directly how you can best support them.
Remember, a little empathy and understanding can make all the difference in how a special needs parent feels appreciated and supported in their journey.