Rebecca's Blogs

Since the very beginning of my life, I have always experienced anxiety about unpredictability. These episodes aren’t just mere moments of daily stress either. On the contrary, whenever an unexpected change happens my natural reaction is to completely lose control, and have intense meltdowns where I’m uncontrollably yelling as well as thrashing around on the floor. Now I have learned mindfulness exercises (of which I’ll soon discuss) that enable me to gradually pull my mind out of the terror. 

From my personal perspective, everybody has different genetic appearances. No two sets of eyes, mouths or any other physical features look 100% the same. This is even the case with siblings who are monozygotic. So, therefore, identifying facial expressions is just as difficult a task for me as choosing a grain of sand, and then trying to identify that after it has been randomly mixed amongst billions of others in a box is.

Speaking verbally is something that I’ve always found to be very difficult, both physically and emotionally. It just doesn’t come naturally to me and that causes me to feel very anxious whilst talking. The feeling I get isn’t social insecurity or shyness.

I’ve frequently mentioned that I have a lot of difficulty with understanding the emotions of fellow humans, and I’ve briefly mentioned before that it tends to be slightly different for me when it comes to those of animals. Self-reflecting and analysing myself has been an activity that I have liked to do for all of my life.

For my entire life to this day I have experienced constant anxiety that cripples me greatly (in regards to my emotions and mind) if I don’t do anything about it when needed. Anxiety is horrible to experience. It’s extremely painful emotionally, provides negative thoughts that quickly escalate to a crucial level, and it also brings me physical pain in my heart and throat...

Throughout Rebecca's entire life to this date she has frequently experienced anxiety as well as occasional bouts of depression. As a result of that she has been in therapy since she was three years old. So it would seem at first glance that emotions are something completely familiar to her. ....